2009 MoM AWARDS PROGRAM

Welcome to the eighth annual Mistresses of Malarkey's (MoM) Magnificent Seven Fanfic Awards Ceremony.

To start with, none of this could be possible if it were not for the fan favorite TV series called The Magnificent Seven.

Who would have thought that a little western would be capturing the fans’ hearts and imaginations after all this time,

and that it would still be inspiring more new AUs every year? Secondly, let me re-introduce you to the

original Seven who made the show so "magnificent". The previous years featuring the various AUs have been fun,

but we felt it was time to get back to the grass roots of the fandom and revisit the old west.

Chris Larabee – Known for his fast draw and even faster temper, Chris Larabee is considered a ‘bad element’ by some and a hero by others. His almost completely black wardrobe disproves the old adage that ‘good guys wear white’. And though he’s been known to not say more than three words in a single day, one glare from him can say a thousand words. This cowboy (don’t call him that to his face!) came from Illinois with his wife, Sarah and son, Adam, to try and start a horse ranch not far from the town of Four Corners. A tragic fire, however, ended that dream and left him homeless and without a family.

Now, this handsome cowboy turned gunman is the un-official leader of the Magnificent Seven. He has a straightforward approach to life, including how he attacks problems. He despises those that would shoot someone in the back; they should have the decency to let the other have a chance. His road has not been an easy one, but some say that is why they love him so much. His no-nonsense attitude and strong code of honor have earned him a great many followers. His constant search for justice and closure for his past also endear many to him.

Vin Tanner – With nothing more to hold onto from his family than his last name, Vin Tanner has never really had a place to call home. He’s lived with the Comanche and the Kiowa and held jobs ranging from bounty hunter to store clerk. In an odd twist of fate, this one time bounty hunter has now found himself on the wrong side of the wanted poster. Wanted for murder in Tascosa, Vin is torn between staying ahead of the law and going back to clear his name, which he values above all other things.

Vin joined the ‘Seven’ one day by helping Larabee to save the life of Nathan Jackson. His skills as a sharpshooter and tracker have been an immeasurable help since then. He prefers to do things the easy way, but he’s not afraid of hard work; most of it comes easy to him anyways, “like lickin’ butter off a knife”, as he might say. He approaches life with a detached attitude, preferring to tackle problems as they come. Most say that it is his quiet confidence, mixed with his shy nature that makes him so likeable. Another endearing feature of this ‘wooly to the bone’ cowboy is his poetic nature.

Ezra P. Standish – Many are familiar with the western stereotype of the ‘soiled dove’ of the saloon that has a heart of gold. In this case, that ‘soiled dove’ is Ezra P. Standish (no one’s sure what the ‘P’ stands for), a southern gambler whose vocabulary can sometimes take longer to speak than it takes for him to win a hand of poker. This son of the south has quite a way with the cards and doesn’t mind other forms of wagering, as long as he is sure of the results. Seen by some as nothing more than a con-man, one of Ezra’s best cons seems to be putting out the image that he does not care for his compadrés or the citizens of the town, although he is willing to give his own life for them.

Ezra’s place in the ‘Seven’ has never been a permanent placement. His original exploits with them almost ended in catastrophe when he abandoned them, but he returned to help ‘save the day’. Since then, he has worked at building their trust in him by helping with various plots, plans and schemes. When asked about them, he usually denies any mention of menial labor and is definitely not interested in discussing the whereabouts of a certain purple dress from Ms. Potter’s General Store. His followers have an extensive list of what they like about him from his accent to his clothes to his troubled childhood with many relatives while his mother ran her own cons, as well as that fabled ‘heart of gold’ that matches his tooth.

Buck Wilmington – The son of a ‘saint’, Buck Wilmington is viewed by some as a saint, himself, although many fathers might not share that same opinion. A friend of Chris Larabee for almost 12 years, Buck has shown his loyalty many times over. He has been there for his friend through the dark times of loss and depression without getting touched by it himself. He always has a smile ready for a pretty lady or a word of ‘wisdom’ for his young friend JD should the opportunity arise. He’s not all carefree, however. Buck is almost always willing to help out a friend, whether it be with words or a ‘show of force’.

His reputation as a ‘ladies man’ is true in two ways. He loves being with women, in every sense of the word. He sometimes feels that he has no choice, as women are drawn to his ‘animal magnetism’; how could he turn them away? But, he also knows how to make those women feel like ‘ladies’, no matter who they are. Most of his followers admit that his extensive… experience… holds a great deal of appeal for them, but they are also drawn to that loving and tender man inside the boisterous and gregarious cowboy.

J.D. Dunne – An avid reader of many ‘dime-store’ novels, JD Dunne came out west from Boston after the death of his mother to join the ‘wild, wild west’. Though he dresses somewhat like an easterner, this youth has rapidly made himself at home in the west. He is as quick on the draw as he is with his mouth, although he is learning the finer points of holding both in check. He is also quick to take his cues from the other members of his new ‘family’, learning by observation, or if Buck’s around, by loud exclamations of advice.

When JD first came to Four Corners, many of the others were uninterested in having him tag-along because of his age and his naivety. He has since proved himself a valuable asset to the group, not only with his guns but also with his insight and loyalty, reminding the others of what they once were like. It is that same youthful insight and loyalty that many of his followers say drew him to their hearts. That, combined with his almost innocent attempts to court Miss Casey Wells, also makes him a romantic favorite with many.

Nathan Jackson – While he adamantly refuses to be called a doctor, Nathan Jackson has done more than his fair share of healing in his lifetime. An ex-slave, Nathan learned the tricks of the trade of doctoring on the battlefields of the Civil War. He is a firm believer in the equality of all men and that they should be treated fairly. He often battles over the morality of certain schemes and plans of the resident gambler, Ezra Standish. But Nathan is not just a healer; he can be a destroyer, as well. Although a good shot, he normally prefers to use throwing knives to defend himself and his friends.

Nathan joined the ‘Seven’, originally, because Vin and Chris saved his life. Since joining the group, Nathan’s healing skills have been in strong demand. He has helped keep many members alive, as well as solved crimes because of his medical expertise. Nathan has many followers because he does help keep the others on their feet, but he also has some of his own because of his loyalty and firm adherence to his beliefs. His compassion for his fellow man also draws many to him.

Josiah Sanchez – A regular world traveler, Josiah Sanchez has visited many places before settling down in the town of Four Corners. The son of a missionary, Josiah has experienced not only different locations and customs but religions and beliefs as well, some of which he has tried to share with his newfound friends. Although Josiah preaches the forgiveness of sins, he has also been known to get more than just a little ‘Old Testament’ on those that threaten those he cares about. By no means a small man, Josiah uses his strength to protect his fellow man as well as to work on repairing the town’s church so that he might help protect their souls, as well.

Josiah was reluctant to join the ‘Seven’ at first, but once he did, he realized there was no turning back. Since then, he has served his ‘flock’ with prayers and a strong back up from his gun. He is also seen as the counselor or spiritual guide to the group and has many sayings and parables to offer for almost every occasion, although some of them may seem just a bit confusing. Those that follow Josiah say his loyalty and his strength, both of body and of spirit, are what they are most fond of.

I would like to take a moment to thank the many individuals who helped make our eighth Annual

Mistresses of Malarkey (MoM) Magnificent Seven Fanfic Awards a tremendous success and a lot of fun.

Many thanks go to. . .

-- To my fellow List Moderators – Lady Viper, Lisa, Laura, Sarah, Sue, Janette, Nancy, Antoinette, Mal, and Maggie –

for their incredible help with all the behind the scenes work.

-- To Lady Viper, our Graphics Designer, for maintaining the MoM's website, creating the award graphics,

and updating the various awards web pages.

-- To Nancy for supporting and advertising the awards at the Blackraptor website.

-- To the many volunteers who judged all the outstanding nominated fics!!

-- To the talented authors who create thrilling, poignant, and captivating Magnificent Seven tales.

CONGRATULATIONS and keep writin'!!

-- And last, but not least, to all those who read these magnificent stories and nominated these wonderful fics!!

This night could not be possible without you!! Thank you for your support!!

Thanks again to everyone and hope to see you on July 25th at 8:00 p.m. EST, at the awards ceremony!

BEST ADULT- SLASH (The Wild Hearts Award)
Presenters: ATF Chris & OW Vin (written by Antoinette)

AU OTHER THAN ATF (The Brass Mirror Award)
BEST GEN. NON-ATF AU BEST ADULT NON-ATF AU

BEST HOLIDAY FIC (any genre) (The Glad Tidings Award)
BEST GEN. HOLIDAY FIC BEST ADULT HOLIDAY FIC

BEST SEQUENTIAL FICS (any genre) (Mag7 Serial Award)
BEST GEN. SEQUENTIAL BEST ADULT SEQUENTIAL

BEST AU (including ATF) GEN Novella BEST AU (including ATF) ADULT NOVELLA

BEST NEW AUTHOR (any genre) (The Rising Star Award)
BEST ORIGINAL GEN FIC BEST ORIGINAL ADULT FIC

You've know Buck for a long time, but you two are so different. How have you managed to stay friends despite

I ask myself that same question all the time. The best answer I have is that back before I was married I was

a lot more like Buck than I care to admit sometimes. Those times, and the fact that he stuck beside me through

the worst time of my life, make us more like brothers than friends. We all know that brothers fuss and fight,

How do you do it? I'm a guy who loves the ladies, but every time I turn around one of them is trying to trap

me into marriage. How have you managed to stay single and still have women falling at your feet?

Once a lady has had a chance with Ol' Buck, they never want to go back to second best. I've had my share

who want me to settle down and get married, but I just turn on the charm and let my animal magnetism do its

work. They soon realize that tying me down would change me and I wouldn't be the 'fun' Buck they know and love.

That usually puts the thoughts of marriage right out of their heads. Hope that helps.

You are a spiritual man, but I notice that you also believe in signs, like when you saw the crows. How do

One thing I learned from growing up a missionaries son is that every culture has its own customs and beliefs,

but deep down most of them have a common thread. They believe in a supreme being that is the creator of

all things. Mixing parts of various religions is a way to get the best of every religion I learn about and that

makes me feel balanced. As for the crows, they are seen as a harbinger of death in many cultures. Luckily

I am sure you have gotten yourself into some tight situations with your gambling. Looking back, what is

There is no doubt that I have seen my share of tense situations and have had to be creative to extricate myself

unscathed. I think one of the funniest, upon looking back, was when I had to pass myself off as a saloon girl

to sneak out of the saloon where I had lodged while practicing my craft. I had been a rare run of bad luck and

found myself unable to pay off a bet. It was hard to keep from revealing my disguise when some dusty,

liquored up, cowboy pinched my derriere as I flirted my way toward the door where I could make my escape.

Have you ever had to experiment on yourself to figure out what herbs benefit particular ailments? If so,

I was lucky to learn a lot when I was a stretcher bearer and even more from people I have met along the

way who shared their knowledge. But, to answer your question, I have had to try some things on myself to

see what they would do. I had heard of using Sienna for that 'blocked up' feeling, so one time when I experienced

that ailment I tried a tea made from Sienna leaves. Not the wisest move I had ever made. I should have used

the pods which are much less potent. Needless to say it did the job too well, and I ended up practically living

Have you ever thought of opening your own tracking business? You're so good you could probably use the motto,

I 'm not the kind to be tied down to one place too long, so it ain't likely that I'd ever start a business.

That would mean sendin' down some deep roots. I do offer my services to people who need help,

so I earn enough to get by. I don't know about the motto you mentioned. Kinda makes it sound like

I think you are so cute! I just wanted you to know I am available if things don't work out with Casey,

My question is, what is it like being part of a group like the Magnificent Seven?

Awww shucks, Ma'am. (I guess you are a Ma'am) You've made me blush. Good thing Buck isn't here to see that

or he'd be teasing me something awful. I guess the best way to describe bein' part of this group is it is like having

a big family with lot's of brothers. We all pick on each other, but any of us would lay down his life for any one of

the others. When my mom died, I thought I would be alone after that, but instead I found a family. Now I have

to go find Buck so I can rub it in that he is not the only one with animal magnetism.

Chris Larabee
Patrolling the beaches
Driving a fancy sports car
Enjoying the scenery

Vin Tanner
Hunting for treasure
Riding horseback on the beach
Calm yet a daredevil

Buck Wilmington
Admiring the ladies
Enjoying a ripe pineapple
Tropical sunsets

Ezra P. Standish
Romance and intrigue
Dancing at the Outrigger Club
A formal event

JD Dunne
A run in sunshine
Learning to dance the hula
Riding the pipeline

Nathan Jackson
Rest and relaxation
Breakfast near the waterfall
Sipping a cocktail

Josiah Sanchez
Hiking by moonlight
Exploring dormant volcanoes
Enjoying the view

Mary Travis
Wearing a muumuu
Taking a long vacation
Walking on the beach

Nettie Wells
Eating a mango
Exploring many museums
A necklace of shells

Casey Wells
Laughter and giggles
Flying over the waterfalls
Adventuresome lady

Inez Recillos
Walking on the beach
Eating a ripe papaya
Dancing at a luau

Rain
Watching the waves crash
Standing on the city heights
Walking by the sea

Maude Standish
A cunning hunter
Searching for the next big score
Playing with Lady Luck

Sarah Larabee
A quiet cottage
Watching the waves crash on shore
Waiting on the porch

Four Corners Institute of Lexicon Development. Now accepting applications . . . learn from the best . . .

President and Founder, Ezra P. Standish. Why say two words when ten will do!!

Sign up now for 'Kissing 101" . . . This intensive-filled 6-week class will show you the proper techniques for

writing the perfect kiss fic . . . Long hours of research and lip-to-lip practice will be required. Study partner

"Do you think being Sheriff is easy? Well, it ain't . . . I've got outlaws, thieves, robbers, and psychos to deal with.

What helps me through it all? Milk. Yep, cowboys drink it. I drink it.Got Milk?"

Poise and Posture classes are now being offered by Four Corners' resident gambler, Ezra P. Standish. Expect

For Sale: Beautiful purple dress. Worn only once . . . in excellent condition. See Mr. Standish.

For Sale: Frog gigger. Never been used. Will accept best offer. See Sheriff Dunne.

Stains Be Gone Cleaners . . . we can get out any stain or you get your money back . . . from those pesky

bloodstains from shootouts to those lipstick marks from passionate interludes!! Prompt and friendly service

Bones Set, Wounds Healed . . . Come to 'a Healing Touch Clinic.' Advice free of charge.

Coming soon to a local entertainment venue near you. . . Ladies, like the cowboys? Come on down to Lady

Killers All-Male Dance Review. . . Whether you like 'em in black from head to toe, younger, distinguished,

or a smile that'll make your knees buckle, these boys know how to get you back in the saddle again and ready

Sanchez's Construction . . . We can build or repair anything at reasonable prices. No job too small!!

Trying to track down a lost artillery wagon, loved one, or a cheating spouse? Come to Tanner Trackin',

WANTED 'Bad Element' SWM . . . prefers the color black, cheroots, whiskey, and riding bareback.

WANTED SWM Church contractor who loves to work with hands, hates crows, and can get "Old Testament" on occasion.

WANTED SWM Bounty Hunter who plays the harmonica, likes poetry and the great outdoors, and occasionally gets "wild and wooly."

WANTED SBM . . . a kind, caring healer who has the magic touch. Must also be an expert knife thrower.

WANTED an Ace of Spades . . . SWM Gambler who loves dark, smoky saloons; high-stakes poker; and hates "menial labor" and "tar and feathers."

WANTED SWM enforcer of the law, greenhorn, and milk drinker. Must be able to ride, fly, and swim. Also must be able to provide his own frog gigger.

WANTED SWM with "animal magnetism" and red long johns . . . must be tall, handsome, and knows how to treat a lady.

Stop by and read our talented writers’ stories!
Experience the excitement and adventures of "The Magnificent Seven" at http://malarkey7.tripod.com

To hot to go outside? Snowed in? Bored? Home sick? Looking for a few cowboys?
Got a hankerin' to read some Magnificent Seven fiction?

Find out where the writers have taken our Magnificent Seven men in their adventures.

Did you ever wonder what JD and Vin might have been like as children?
Do you enjoy stories that have a sense of childlike innocence and fun to them?
If so, you'll love the stories written in the Little Britches universe.