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July 29th at 8:00 pm EST

Welcome!
Grab your phaser and tricorder
and prepare for an out of this world experience at
the fifth annual Mistresses of Malarkey Awards
Ceremony, which would not have been possible if it
were not for a TV series called "The
Magnificent Seven."
Let me introduce you to the seven men
(Star Trek style) who continue to win our
hearts and imaginations.

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Captain Chris Larabee: Commanding Officer,
USS Maverick
Chris Larabee was deep-selected for promotion to
the rank of
Captain and given his first starship command at
age 38, after demonstrating outstanding heroism
and ability while under
the command of Captain Jean-Luc Picard in a
battle against
a Borg fleet which threatened Earth. He is a
long-time friend
of his Executive Officer, Commander Buck
Wilmington, whom
he has known since their days at Star Fleet
Academy. Captain
Larabee had a wife, Sarah, and a son, Adam, but
they were
tragically killed in a shuttle explosion, the
cause of which was
never
determined. |

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Commander Buck Wilmington: Executive Officer
Commander Wilmington and Captain Larabee have
been close friends since their days at Star
Fleet Academy. Buck grew up on a “pleasure
planet,” raised by his mother, who was a
prostitute. She had great dreams for her son,
and Buck lived up to them by gaining entrance to
Star Fleet Academy shortly before she passed
away. Although he can be a formidable presence
on the bridge of the Maverick, Buck has no
aspirations to command a ship of his own,
content instead to serve at the right hand of
his long-time friend, Chris. |

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Commander Josiah Sanchez: Ship’s Counselor
Nicknamed “The Preacher,” Commander Sanchez was
a trained psychiatrist working in research and
administration when he was called back to active
practice as a counselor following the Borg
attack against Earth. One of those he counseled
was Chris Larabee, who offered him the position
of ship’s counselor when he was given his own
command. Commander Sanchez specializes in
first-contact negotiations.
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Lieutenant Ezra Standish: Security Officer
Lieutenant Standish runs a for-profit
gambling operation and is well-versed in the science of contraband.
Captain Larabee appointed him security officer
because Lieutenant Standish has done it all himself - nothing much gets
past him, because he knows every trick in the book. Lieutenant
Standish acquired invaluable knowledge of the
diverse cultures that comprise Star Fleet during
his childhood, spent traveling with his Mother
who is a professional gambler and con artist.
There are rumors that Ezra may be part Ferengi -
unsubstantiated, of course! |

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Lieutenant Junior Grade Vin Tanner: Navigator
Lieutenant Tanner is a Vulcan, rescued at the
age of 5 by a research team consisting of three
humans, an older couple
named Tanner and their young research assistant,
Vladimir
Illya Nemodrovich. The four were marooned on an
isolated
planet for 12 years, during which time the
Vulcan child and humans bonded as a family. Vin
inherited the Tanner’s ranch
in Texas when they passed away. He is named for
the research assistant, and his nickname, “Vin”
is an acronym. His “Uncle Vlad” is still living
and sees Vin often.
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Lieutenant Commander Nathan Jackson: Ship’s
Surgeon:
Commander Jackson is a Star Fleet surgeon with a
subspecialty in Vulcan physiology. He has a
close friendship
as well as a working relationship with Josiah
Sanchez, and is romantically involved with the
Maverick’s Science Officer,
Rain Gennesee.
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Ensign JD Dunne: Telemetry
A recent graduate of Star Fleet Academy, Ensign
Dunne is
still in the process of completing his
qualifications as a Star
Fleet officer. Although assigned to the Maverick
as Telemetry Officer, he also stands duty in
other operations areas as part
of his training. He has a close friendship with
Lieutenant
Tanner and an budding romance with Ensign Wells.
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Ensign Casey Wells: Supply Officer
Also a recent graduate of Star Fleet Academy,
Ensign Wells is a member of Star Fleet Supply
Corps and is assigned to the Maverick as Supply
and Logistics Officer. Her mentor is Lieutenant
Travis and she has a romantic interest in Ensign
Dunne.
Lieutenant Mary Travis: Administrative and
Protocol Officer
Lieutenant Travis is in charge of the
administrative and personnel functions
on board
the Maverick, and commands a considerable
knowledge of Star
Fleet operational procedures
as well as being versed in the laws and customs
of the various populations that comprise Star
Fleet. She is the widow of Admiral Travis’ son,
who was killed in the Borg attack on earth.
Admiral Orin Travis: Senior JAG Officer
As the senior legal authority in the sector,
Admiral Travis is next ranking
officer in Larabee’s chain of command. It is Admiral Travis
who selected Larabee to command the Maverick,
and gave him the option of selecting his own
crew to patrol the volatile Four Corners region. |

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THE MISSION:
The USS Maverick is assigned to patrol Sector
7, a region of space where four quadrants meet
in a nebulous region known as the Four Corners,
the boundaries of which are continuously under
dispute and the inhabitants of which are
habitually targets for anyone who wants to
increase their respective sphere of authority.
Their mission is on-going, and as Federation
peacekeepers, they answer directly to the Judge
Advocate General, presided over in the region by
Admiral Orin Travis. |

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It is hard to believe this is our Fifth Annual
Mistresses of Malarkey (MoM) Awards and, as in
past years, it could not have been possible
without the unbelievable assistance and support
of many individuals. I would like to take the
time now to offer my heartfelt "thank you". . .
- To my fellow List Moderators – Janette,
Lady Viper, Laura, Lisa S., Lisa O, Nancy,
Sarah, and Wendy – for their help with all the
behind the scenes work. I could not have done
it without you!!
- To Janette, Wendy, and Lisa O., our
Entertainment Coordinators, for helping with the
pre-awards celebrations and planning all the fun
activities for us all to enjoy.
- To Laura, our Award Ceremony Coordinator,
for her help planning the presentation ceremony
and arranging for the presenters.
- To the talented Lady Viper, our Graphics
Designer, for maintaining the MoM's website,
creating the award graphics, and updating the
various awards web pages. Your inventive and
creative talents are amazing!!
- To Sarah, our Award Program Editor, for
creating and writing this superb "Program of
Events." Bravo!!
- To Lisa S, our Program Consultant, for
offering the benefit of her experience over the
last three years as Program Editor when we
needed advice or a sounding board for new ideas.
- To Nancy, our Star Trek 7 Biographer, for
drafting the Magnificent Seven/Star Trek bios
and for supporting and advertising these awards
at her blackraptor website.
- To the marvelous volunteers who judged all
the superb fics!! Thank you for your tireless
efforts!!
- To the talented authors who create
exciting, touching, and captivating stories
based on "The Magnificent Seven".
CONGRATULATIONS and keep writin'!!
- And last but not least, to all those who
read these magnificent tales and nominated these
fantastic fics!! This night could not be
possible without you!! Thank you for your
enthusiastic support!!
Thanks again to everyone and hope to see you on
July 29th at 8:00 pm EST,
at the awards
ceremony!
Rhonda (Luna Dey)
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Welcoming
Remarks
by Mistresses of Malarkey's List Mom Rhonda
BEST GEN
Stories (The One Destiny Award)
Presenters:
Rhonda & ATF Ezra
TEARJERKER (The Embroidered Hanky Award)
BEST GEN TEARJERKER
BEST ADULT TEARJERKER
Presenters:
ATF Josiah &
Shepherd Book (Firefly)
BEST
HURT/COMFORT (The Golden Crutch Award)
BEST GEN
HURT/COMFORT BEST ADULT
HURT/COMFORT
Presenters:
Laura & OW Nathan
BEST ADULT-
HET (The Ace of Hearts Award)
Presenters:
LV & ST Buck & Dylan
Hunt (Andromeda)
BEST
ADULT- SLASH (The Wild Hearts Award)
Presenters:
ST Chris & Vin
AU OTHER
THAN ATF (The Brass Mirror Award)
BEST GEN. NON-ATF AU BEST
ADULT NON-ATF AU
Presenters:
ST Ezra & Josiah,
Richie (Highlander).
CROSSOVERS (The
Crossroads Award)
BEST GEN. CROSSOVER BEST
ADULT CROSSOVER
Presenters:
Col. O’Neil (SG1) &
Mulder (X-Files)
BEST
HOLIDAY FIC
(any genre) (The
Glad Tidings Award)
BEST GEN. HOLIDAY FIC BEST
ADULT HOLIDAY FIC
Presenters:
OW Buck & ATF Nathan
BEST HUMOR
(The John Dunne Award)
Presenters:
Wendy & OW JD
BEST
ADULT HUMOR (The Loaded Gun Award)
Presenters:
Sarah & ATF Buck
BEST
GEN GIGGLES- HUMOR (The Gen Tickled Award)
Presenters:
Janette & ATF JD
BEST ADULT GIGGLES - HUMOR (The Adult
Tickled Award)
Presenters:
Lisa S. & ATF Chris
BEST LITTLE BRITCHES (ATF OR OW) (The
Little Britches Award)
Presenters:
Storm, Rogue & Jean
Gray (X-Men)
BEST
KID FIC (any genre/non-Little Britches) (The
Little Tykes Award)
Presenters:
Jim & Blair
(Sentinel)
BEST
KID FIC (any genre/non-Little
Britches) (The Kindred Souls Award)
Presenters:
Captain Mal Reynolds
(Firefly) & Wolverine (X-Men)
BEST
SEQUENTIAL FICS
(any genre)
(Mag7 Serial Award)
BEST GEN. SEQUENTIAL BEST
ADULT SEQUENTIAL
Presenters:
OW Josiah & OW Chris
& Lisa O.
BEST
VIGNETTE(40K
or less)(any genre)
(The
Magnificent Ficlet Award)
BEST GEN VIGNETTE
BEST ADULT VIGNETTE
Presenters:
John Crichton and
General Ka D'Argo (Farscape)
BEST
EXTENDED FIC(250K
or more)(any genre)
(The
Best Novella Award)
BEST OW GEN
NOVELLA BEST OW Adult Novella
BEST AU
(including ATF) GEN Novella BEST AU
(including ATF) ADULT NOVELLA
Presenters: ST JD,
ST Nathan, and Tealc (SG1)
BEST POEM
(any
genre) (The
Vin Tanner Award)
BEST ORIGINAL GEN. POEM
BEST ORIGINAL ADULT POEM
Presenters: ATF &
OW Vin
BEST NEW
AUTHOR(any
genre) (The
Rising Star Award)
BEST ORIGINAL GEN. FIC BEST
ORIGINAL ADULT FIC
Presenters: Rhonda
& OW Ezra
SPECIAL
AWARDS
MoM HALL OF FAME AWARD
ACES AWARD
(Awarded for perfect scores)
Presenters: Rhonda
& OW Ezra

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To
appreciate love,
you have to know
you can lose it.
~7~
When a woman
makes up her mind,
you can always be sure
she's
gonna do exactly
what she says -
or not.
~7~
The only time a woman
can easily change a man
is when he's a baby.
~7~
Love is a rocky trail,
but it promises a scenic ride.
~7~
Women
don't make
fools out of men;
they just give 'em
the opportunity.
~7~
The best way
to cure a pain in the behind
is to
kiss 'em goodbye.
~7~
Among other drawbacks,
if you live alone
you'll never know if you
snore.
~7~
You know you're in
love
when there are only
two places in the world:
where she is,
and where she's not.
~7~
If you don't quarrel
once in a while,
one of you is just dumb.
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The
Collector:
NETTIE:
You'd best get off my property, Guy Royal. You
know I can judge.
---
CHRIS:
Would you be interested in partaking in a little
nominating?
BUCK:
Nominating? Why, hell, that's my middle name.
Sins of The Past:
EZRA:
You hear that, gentlemen? That is the sound of
an author knocking. Don't be slow to answer the
door.
EZRA:
Well, frankly, of all the endeavors I thought
you might undertake, judging was not one of
them. Why are you in town?
CHRIS:
All those years lookin' over your shoulder,
nominatin' with one eye open... it's got to wear
on a man.
Love & Honor:
EZRA:
Well, you obviously learned the vote's various
manifestations, but have you also studied its...
application?
BUCK:
So do you--you think this, uh, this nomination's
a sign that I'm gonna win?
Vendetta:
BUCK:
You still as ornery as an author with a rattler
up his backside? I think you are. What are you
doing
here?
HANK:
I nominated him. He came right up to me and
before he said "howdy-do," I nominated him. |

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Did you know…
…Anthony Starke's parents tried to
discourage him from acting by sending
him articles of how often actors do not
work. When he finally landed a
movie of the week in Chicago, they
became supportive.
~7~
…In James Cameron's The Terminator,
Michael Biehn gets bitten on the
hand
by another character. He has suffered
the same on-0screen injury
in every James Cameron film he's been
in.
~7~
…Ron Perlman is left handed, but was
forced to use his right as a child –
therefore he is comfortable using his
right hand.
~7~
…Dale Midkiff is the second of eight
children: six brothers and one sister.
~7~
…Andrew Kavovit is the brother-in-law of
actress Meredith Monroe,
of Dawson's Creek.
~7~
…Eric Close often includes "Philippians
4:13" on his autographs.
The verse reads,
"I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me."
~7~
…Rick Worthy's first TV appearance was
break dancing on the contest
TV show "Dance Fever." He and his
20-year-old brother
~7~
…The
wrestling scene between Buck and JD in
the pilot episode,
after JD is allowed to join the group,
was ad libbed by the actors. It
was the start of the great relationship
Buck and JD now enjoy.
~7~
In the opening scene of
The New Law, Anthony Starke (Ezra
Standish)
is wearing a white cast
on his right foot (its visible when he
does the
spin/jump off his horse).
~7~
Alexa Vega (from the "Spy Kids" movies)
played Olivia
Greer in the Safecracker
episode.
…Robert Vaughn played Judge Oren Travis in the series. He also
appeared in The Magnificent Seven (1960) as Lee.
…Anne Haney, who played Nettie Wells in the Collector episode, passed
away on 26 May 2001.
Brion James, who played Steward James in One Day Out West and
The New Law, passed away on 7 August 1999
…In the Nemesis episode, Chris's son Adam was played by
Michael Biehn's real life son Caelan.
…In Inmate 78, Don Swayze (Gage Lawless) is the brother
In the Wagon Train episodes, Eric Close's younger brother,
Chris Close, played Jack, the man who is blinded, then
...In the Achilles episode, we learn for the first time that JD's first
…In the Achilles episode, the poem A Heroes Heart was written
~7~
…An Internet fan campaign was partly
responsible for CBS' decision to renew
this series. A team of fans organized
and coordinated their efforts through a
Web site, recruiting the internet fandom
in e-mailing CBS executives and
affiliates and raising $5,000 of their
own money for ads in Variety and USA
Today thanking the producers, the cast,
and the extended crew members. Patti
Kleckner, a Chicago-based fan, who was
part of the team who organized the
campaign, offered her services as a
contact on behalf of the effort. She was
offered a free trip to California by
executive producer John Watson to make
her television debut with a walk-on part
in the "New Law" episode, which started
the second season.


Since the end of the Magnificent Seven
in 1999, fans have sought to keep up
with the seven men who captured both our
hearts and minds. Here is a recap of
what they have been up to:
In 1999 Michael
Biehn lent his voice to the
video game Command & Conquer: Tiberean
Sun. The years 2000-2002 brought us
movies such as Cherry Falls,
The Art of War and Clockstoppers.
In 2003 Biehn returned to the small
screen in "Adventure Inc" and again in
2004 in the short-lived "Hawaii". Look
for Michael in 2006-2007 in The
Insatiable, You are Here,
Grind House and That's Amore!
Eric Close
has had a steady run on the small screen
beginning with "Now and Again in 1999
and following up with TV movies
Follow the Stars Home (2001) and
NTSB: The Crash of Flight 323
(2004), and the mini series "Taken"
(2003). Close lent his voice to the
popular Disney cartoon "Kim Possible" in
2005 and can currently been seen on the
TV series "Without A Trace". Announced
for Eric in 2006 is the movie Saving
Angelo.
Ron Perlman
has by far been the busiest of the 7,
racking up a total of 65 projects with
10 more in the works since '99! His
unforgettable voice can be heard in
video games such as Batman: Rise of Sin
Tzu, Fallout Tactics, True Crime:
Streets of LA, Narc, and The Chronicles
of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay; and
also in cartoons such as Hey Arnold!,
Scooby Doo, Teen Titans, Danny Phantom,
Titan A.E. and Justice League. Movies
range from Hellboy, Blade II,
Rats, Star Trek: Nemesis
and Happy, Texas. He's guest
starred on "The Outer Limits", Charmed",
and "Stephen King's Desperation". Among
upcoming works for Perlman are
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, The
Mutant Chronicles, and Solomon's
Turn.
Making his mark on the small screen,
Rick Worthy
has had guest starring roles in "Touched
By An Angel", Star Trek: Voyager",
"Seven Days", "Felicity", "Stargate
SG-1", "Boomtown", "Enterprise", "CSI:
Miami", CSI: Las Vegas" & the soap opera
"General Hospital". He's lent his voice
to the video game X-Men Legends and was
in the movies Collateral Damage
and Holes. In the works for
Worthy in 2006 for TV is, Fallen.
Much to our disappointment,
Andrew Kavovit
has not been seen as much as his
fellow magnificent friends. He's
appeared on "Touched By An Angel", "Joan
of Arcadia" and "Miracles". 2000-2002
saw Andy in The David Cassidy Story,
Rat Race, and Rent Control.
Good news, Kavovit can be seen in 2006's
Twilite Memories.
Dale Midkiff
has become well known for his
role as Clark in the Hallmark movies
Love Comes Softly, Love's
Enduring Promise, Love's Long
Journey and the upcoming Love's
Abiding Joy. Other movies for
Midkiff include Air Bud: World Pup
and Route 666 and he's guest
starred on TV shows "The Outer Limits",
CSI: Las Vegas" and "Without A Trace".
In the future for Dale is National
Lampoon's Totally Baked and Plane
Dead.
Anthony Starke
has remained on the small screen since
1999. He stared in the short-lived
series "Cold Feet" and moved on to guest
roles in "Boston Public", "Charmed",
"CSI: Las Vegas", "Angel", "Abby",
"Crossing Jordan", and 2005's "Prison
Break".
***Disclaimer: All information was
gathered from IMDb.com and was written
as is from that site. As such, mistakes
are not our fault. ***

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